My First Haircut

This is a kind of funny string of emails about me planning to get my first hair cut after starting to date Andy and his emotional response. Andy likes me with long hair, as is sufficiently clear below:

I wrote:

Good morning, Andy!
Well, I’m feeling pretty rested. But, I haven’t fully disclosed the reason why I’m much more rested this week. Yes, partially the [telephone call] curfew. But, also, I’ve been waking up at 6, rather than 5 this whole week and just rushing to get ready. It isn’t going that well though. I almost missed the bus again and I’ve had to wear my hair in pony tails all week because I haven’t had time to do it/dry it. And yesterday I had to wear somewhat wrinkled pants because I didn’t have enough time to finish ironing them. I think I’ll get my hair cut today or tomorrow. For your sake, I won’t let them cut it short. Yeah, your dream last night was strange. I don’t know what’s up with me, but it seems like ever since I met you, I wake up at about 3 a.m. every morning and then I think about you and then fall back asleep.
Hope you have a good day!
Jessica

Here is Andy’s response to me mentioning getting my hair cut:

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Don’t cut your hair!!!!

Here is my clarification:

Hi Andy,
Sorry to freak you out. Maybe I should have used the word “trimmed.” Andy, I get my hair cut, that is, trimmed, every 6 weeks or so, like clock work. If I don’t get it cut (or trimmed) that often it gets split ends and looks dry and disgusting. I think it is starting to look bad.
Jessica

Andy’s thoughts on women with short hair:

Cut = bad
Trimmed = good

Thanks for clarifying.

What’s especially bad about a girlfriend, or more likely a wife, getting her hair cut short is that it usually comes with the question “do you like it?” If the guy says yes, he’s a liar; if he says no, he’s a jerk. Guys HATE questions that cannot, under any circumstances, have a good response when an honest answer is given. Even worse is the lose-lose situation, where any answer is seen as negative. (Did you stop beating your wife is a good example. Yes means he did stop beating her, no means he is still beating her – there is no room for him never having beaten her)

Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2004