Andy & Jessica

Tonight Jude was following me around like a little shadow so I had him help me carry down a laundry basket and then was teaching him how to do the laundry.  He was very into helping but said, “I’m not even going to do this job when I get older.  I’m going to delegate it to my wife.”

Me: “Levi, can you get me my work bag?”

Levi: “I’m going to let my wife do all the work cuz I don’t want to work.”

Me: “Is your wife going to want to marry you if you’re going to make her do all the work?”

Jude: Don’t tell her that, Levi.  Dad got away with it.”

To me: “You are really skinny because you are always running around cleaning up our messes.  If it weren’t for us, you’d be fat as a hog.”

“Abby, I love you so much!  I’m going to kiss your cheeks off, kiss your lips off and kiss your tummy off!”

Today I brought Jude and Abby for the respective 9 year and 4 month well child visits.  Jude’s doctor was trying to encourage him to try vegetables.  Jude’s eyes got bright and he excitedly informed the doctor that Levi just tried a new food.  When the doctor asked what it was, Jude responded with a laugh, “M&Ms.”  True story too.  Levi just learned to like M&Ms.  Then Jude, on a roll from eliciting laughter, informed the doctor that Levi had learned to love another food a few months ago — vanilla ice cream.  True story too.

“I’m liking this 9 year old thing.”

Call me nerdy, but I’ve always wanted to participate in a wellness program.  Probably because I help set up such programs and want an insider’s insight into how they actually work.  Well, I’m now a participant in a wellness program thanks to my firm’s merger with another firm.  In the welcome packet, they sent 2 dark chocolate Hershey’s bars.  Can’t decide if that make my new wellness program the best or worst wellness program ever.  I also got my Fit Bit linked to the account and earn 5 points for every 5,000 steps.  Jude approached me yesterday with a deal — he said that if he sees me resting, he’d get me steps and then we’d split the gift card we’d earn 50/50.  I think I’m raising a con artist.

I got a call from Andy asking if I knew anything about the trim from the top of Levi’s bedroom door that he had found in Levi’s bedroom closet.  I suspected Jude, figuring he was simulating the American Ninja Warrior course.  Jude initially denied knowledge of the incident but later I got this email, “Jude copped to breaking the trim off the door. He said he and his brothers were dangling off it when it broke.”

Then later I got this email from Andy, “Huge scare just now. We’re at the clinic to get shots. A ball fell out of the van & under the next car. Jude went after it & there was a lady sitting in the driver’s seat. I was terrified she’d back out while Jude was under the car.  Please no balls or unnecessary toys in the van. If they must be in there, put them in the very back where they’re less likely to fall out.”

Last Friday was my first day back to work after maternity leave.  I was so worried about how Andy was going to handle 4 kids and manage to get Jude to OT for handwriting by 9 a.m.  I called him later that morning to see how it had gone.  He had totally gotten about OT.

So, on the way home from taking the kids rock climbing today, Abby screamed the whole way home.  I rescued her from the car seat and fed her and then went about cleaning the kitchen.  Then this exchange happened:

Andy: “Did you know Asher is sleeping out in the car?”

Me:  “No.  We’re terrible parents.”

Andy: “I think we are getting too many to keep track of.”