Andy & Jessica

Someone has written a book about 5 love languages (ways in which love is expressed). I haven’t read the book, but I did memorize the list of the languages. Those 5 languages are: (1) acts of service; (2) words of affirmation; (3) physical touch; (4) quality time; and (5) gifts. Andy and I talked early on about what makes us feel loved. I ranked acts of service first, followed by words of affirmation and physical touch, quality time, and finally, gifts. I think Andy’s ranking was: (1) quality time; (2) words of affirmation and physical touch; (3) acts of service; and (4) gifts. I adjusted my schedule to make sure that Andy gets the quality time from me that he wants. I pushed back my bedtime by an hour so we could talk more at night and I try to keep my weekends free for him. Andy said that an act of service is the hardest way for him to express love. But, since he knows it is important to me, he has made an effort. He mows my lawn fairly regularly, helps me remove wallpaper, and cleaned out my house’s gutters.

I have kept a journal since I was in 2nd grade. I don’t write everyday. I don’t write every week. Sometimes I don’t write for several weeks or months. It depends on my mood. But, still, I happen to have almost finished filling the pages of my 22nd journal. I like reading what I wrote in the past. Most of the time, reading my words brings back memories or feelings that I had almost forgotten. Here are some excerpts of things I wrote in my journal fairly recently:

On November 17, 2003 (exactly 3 months before I met Andy):

I have the hope that God is just about bursting open with excitement to present my future husband to me. I�m ready and waiting!!!

On January 29, 2004:

Andy is awesome!!!

On February 9, 2004:

I think I�m going to marry Andy.

On February 11, 2004 (3:41 a.m.):

Can�t sleep. Can�t do much except think about Andy. Think about him at work so not billing much time. I adore Andy. I feel like I�m starting to fall in love with him. He makes me laugh. He has drawn me closer to God. Seems so weird that I may have finally found �the one� I have been waiting for. I�m so thrilled about the idea of marriage.

On February 28, 2004:

Moments last night when I wondered if I was falling in love with Andy. He is so wonderful. Sweet. Gentle. Fun. Makes me laugh. Adores me. Freaky – I just read the list of what I want in a husband from October 2003 and it seems like Andy fits the bill. If he is �the one,� this is crazy cool!! Go God!

On March 13, 2004:

I think I am in love with or falling in love with Andy. He makes me feel so good. He makes me laugh. He understands me. He always says the right things. He sends chills up and down my spine.

On June 27, 2004:

Today we entered Phase 2.5. [Phase 1 � getting to know each other; Phase 2 � dating/courtship; Phase 3 � engagement; Phase 4 � marriage.] 1.5 more �til he�s mine! Phase 2.5 happened because we decided to get a family cell phone plan.

I love Andy so much. He has the best personality. He makes me happy. He makes me laugh. He knows all sorts of stuff. He entertains me. He understands me. He loves me for who I am. I want to be with Andy! I want to be his companion for life. I want to be his wife, his helper, his friend, and the mother of his children. I want to laugh with him and to make him happy. I want to love him and be loved by him forever. I want to never lose him and to always be with him. I want to cuddle with him and to fall asleep next to him and wake up and find him next to me in the morning. I want to shower him with attention and to treat him so well. I want him to always know what a blessing he is to me.

Because I live in an apartment and Jessica has a house, it seems to make the most sense that I’ll move in with her when we get married. Since I have little to do at work today, Jess suggested several things that I might write about to pass the time. One idea she had was to write about what I’d like to do with the house once my name joins hers on the deed. Here’s a list:
Continue reading “Andy’s Household Projects To-Do List”

If you have ever tried calling Andy or me on a weeknight between the hours of 7 and 10, chances are that you got the busy signal. Since Andy and I live an hour apart (I live in the cities and he lives in St. Cloud), we spend most of our free time at night talking to each other on the phone. My mom has often asked with exclamation, “What do you and Andy talk about!?!” Here’s the answer:

1. How our days were – approximately 30 minutes
2. What we are doing while talking to each other (we both multi-task – I clean and Andy plays around on his computer) – approximately 10 minutes
3. Bible study (right now we are studying the gospel of Mark over the phone) – approximately 30 minutes
4. Prayer – approximately 10 minutes
5. Current events – approximately 20 minutes
6. What’s going on in the lives of others – approximately 15 minutes
7. What we are going to do the next time we see each other – approximately 15 minutes

On October 6, 2003, a few months before I met Andy, I wrote the list below of characteristics that I was looking for in my future husband. Andy meets almost all of them.

1. On-fire Christian
2. Super smart
3. Practical
4. Energetic
5. Makes me laugh
6. Spontaneous
7. Adores me
8. Tells me often that he adores me
9. Financially stable – no debt
10. Good job
11. Gorgeous, but he doesn�t know it
12. I can be myself around him
13. Good communicator
14. Someone I can pray with
15. Someone who can teach me
16. Some who can listen to me (2-way conversation)
17. Musical
18. Athletic – would work out with me
19. Handyman
20. Helps around the house
21. Loves kids and wants to have a pile of them
22. Gets along well with my family
23. Affectionate
24. Slow to anger
25. Forgiving
26. Likes to have fun
27. Doesn�t struggle with lust/doesn�t get distracted by other women
28. I feel safe with him (protector)
29. Strong
30. Waiting for me now. Preparing himself for me.
31. Nice
32. Happy
33. Gives good advice
34. Wise
35. Gift of prophecy

Yesterday we progressed a step in our relationship and our commitment to each other. Since we live an hour apart, I in St. Cloud and Jess in Golden Valley, phone calls are the long-distance type. Until now, we had been doing the best we could to get around paying too much to call each other. I had a cell phone that gave me 120 minutes per month during the day and 1000 on the weekends and after 8:00 p.m. during the week. Jessica was on a plan that gave her 600 minutes during the day and unlimited talk time on weekends and after 9:00 p.m. With only 120 minutes per month during the day, I would rarely use my cell phone just to talk. Once we used up most of Jessica’s 600 minutes, we’d talk to each other on prepaid phone cards if we talked before 8:00, when I would call her. After 9:00 we’d play the phone-call shuffle and she would call me.

On June 11th, after pondering a move since November, I dropped AT&T as my provider and moved to T-Mobile. This put me on the same plan Jessica has had all along. It gave me more time to use to call her, but in two weeks, we found that we were still using our time up quickly. Yesterday we made a move that will forever change our communication methods. She moved her cell plan to my account, and we signed up for a family plan, where we will have both cell phones on the same account, share our minutes and our bill, and be able to talk to each other via cell with unlimited minutes to each other.

We see it as a big step. Not quite Phase 3 (engagement), but more committed than Phase 2 (Dating). We are locked into our plan for a year, getting out could be expensive. However, we’ll be able to talk to each other whenever we want, for as long as we want, without worrying about either of our phone bills going way up.

Biking in Bloomington, along the river
Mini Golf
Kayaking
Tubing down a river
Valleyfair
Como Zoo
State Fair
Fly Jess’ stunt kite (attempted)
Water Skiing
Horseback Riding
Rollerblading
Bake a bunch of different kinds of cookies
Street Level – Street Evangelism
Go to the Boundary Waters

Andy is a nice guy – a really nice guy. During the first few weeks of my relationship with Andy, I had totally conflicting feelings about him. In person, he came across as shy and unconfident. But, over the phone, he was energetic and a great conversationalist. I was so afraid I was going to have to stop seeing Andy because of the way he came across in person. I talked things over with my sister and she said that I was probably going to have to end the relationship. But, I was too much of a wuss and I couldn’t bear to hurt this shy guy that I had just met. I decided to give him another chance, figuring that he was probably just inexperienced with women since the last time he had a girlfriend was 10 years earlier (at age 16). Andy called me every night. His persistence and his adorable personality (which took a few weeks to be unveiled) won me over.

1. Her faith in Jesus
2. Her energy
3. She understands me
4. She appreciates my sense of humor
5. She’s very loving
6. Her smile
7. She enjoys doing the things I enjoy doing
8. She goes out of her way for me
9. Her desire for a Biblical/Godly relationship
10. She is generous
11. Her loyalty (overall)
12. She’s almost as picky as me so she is not critical of my picky appetite
13. She’s my most loyal blog reader
14. She share’s my moral, political, and faith-based values
15. She bakes great cookies
16. She loves me
17. Her beautiful brown eyes
18. Her gorgeous red hair
19. She always wants to spend her free time with me
20. If something I say can be taken as good or bad, she always takes it as good
21. She’s affectionate
22. She enjoys all of the activities that I plan for us
23. She shares many of my views on raising children
24. I can tell her anything
25. I can trust her