This third pregnancy of mine has been full of worry. For the first 16 weeks or so, I was worried about miscarrying again. When I was 16 weeks and far enough along to have no excuse to worry anymore, I made a huge mistake by taking the quadscreen. The quadscreen tests for Downs, spina bifida and Trisomy 18. Several days after taking the screening, I got an ominous message at work. It was a doctor from my clinic who wanted to discuss my screening results with me. I knew it was bad news. Doctors never call to congratulate a patient on normal test results. For two hours, I waited with worry for him to call back to deliver the bad news. Then the call came. It was just as I had expected. First came some seemingly good news — that the baby didn’t appear to have Down syndrome. But, then came the bad news, that the baby tested for an increased risk (1 out of 20 chance) for Trisomy 18, which is genetic condition I was told was “incompatible with life.†I was told that if the baby had Trisomy 18 he/she would die “sooner rather than later†(most likely during pregnancy). The doctor mentioned I might want to do an amniocentesis procedure to figure out if the baby really had Trisomy 18 and, if so, consider whether I want to “terminate the pregnancy.†I said I would never put my baby’s life at risk by doing an amnio and would never kill my own baby. He said I could do a level II ultrasound but that it wouldn’t be conclusive one way or the other. I had to wait 3 long weeks for the ultrasound. It was pure torture. It was on my mind at all waking moments for those 3 weeks. I kept dreading going to the bathroom since I was afraid I’d see blood and know the baby had already died. Finally, at 19 weeks pregnant, I had the level II ultrasound. About 5 minutes into it, I was feeling really good. The baby still had a heartbeat and was alive. The baby’s head wasn’t too small (as is the case with Trisomy 18 babies). The ultrasound tech checked every finger and toe and organ. My baby was perfect. What a relief! At the end, the ultrasound tech saw a little something between our baby’s legs and announced we were having another boy. I was thrilled because I had an alive and healthy baby. Little Jude wanted a “girl baby like Mommy†so he sobbed for 20 minutes or so. By that night, I allowed myself to begin enjoying this pregnancy. Given that it’s over half over, it’s about time! What we don’t know is if this baby was perfect all along or if this baby really did have Trisomy 18 and God answered our prayers. What I do know, is that knowing God is way smarter than me and has His own plans that I may not always understand, certainly made it easier to face the fear of losing another baby.